Finding your significant other or the right friends seems much of a fairytale as you’ll have to kiss a few frogs until having someone supportive in your life. Unfortunately, no matter where you live or what you do for a living, you’ll most likely come across a few toxic people in your life. Whether we talk about a lover, a family member or a simple work colleague, these people should be avoided at all costs.
Identifying the toxic person in your life is difficult as not always these people show off signs of toxicity from the beginning. Sometimes, it can take a few years and negative situations to realize the bad influence of these people. But, if you are already aware of how toxic some of your relationships are, it’s high time you tried to cut them off. Here are a few tips on how to do this.
Understand the reason for negativity
If you want to help a certain person take back control over their own lives, you need to understand the reason for their negativity. It could be anything from a broken relationship, frustration or anger to disappointment and mistrust. No matter the case, you should show support and try to talk to the person. Sometimes, a few kind words said at the right time can help heal wounds and years of sorrow.
You could also suggest some form of therapy or speaking to a specialized person who can help them heal faster and give up their negativity in life. However, don’t forget to keep the tone of the conversation light and casual. Some people take a lot of time before they can open themselves, and being judgy or pushy won’t work.
One of the reasons why you always get sucked in the drama is because there are no boundaries between you and the toxic person in your life. The easiest way to release some of the tension and get away from all the negativity is to communicate with the person and impose a set of rules you will both have to follow.
From avoiding specific topics to fewer visits, phone calls or banning bad language, there are plenty of ways you can minimize the contact with a toxic person without feeling like you’re bailing out on them. Learn to be firm without being brutal and communicate your desires in an adult matter.
Don’t forget that some distance between you two could prove a blessing and could solve some of the problems in your relationship. After all, time is the closest thing you have to a therapist, and it will make you see things from a new perspective.
Learn how to say no
Another reason why you may still have to deal with toxic people in your life is that you don’t know how to say “no.” Almost all poisonous relationships are based on one active partner who is controlling and the other one who is passive. By breaking the habit and learning how to say no you will show that you no longer want to be physically or emotionally abused by your partner.
No matter if we’re talking about a relative, a family member, a friend or a lover, the power of saying no will heal you and help you move on. Learn how to use these two letters in your favor and stop trying to please other people. If you have someone who is constantly asking for your help even if he/she is always getting into trouble, it’s high time you stopped showing unlimited kindness and compassion.
Try changing the dynamics
Saying “no” to a partner or a family member can be extremely hard, especially if you feel guilty or somehow responsible for their faith and wellbeing. One easy way to cut out on the guilt is to change the dynamic of your relationship.
Try hanging out in bigger groups and have other people going out with you or spending time at your place. This will bring some well-deserved time off between you and your partner and will help you focus on your needs rather than on your partner’s. It will also allow you to become stronger and ask for the support of your friends.