Gossiping is the act of spreading private or false information about an individual with the purpose of hurting or passing the time. It is not always a negative thing, but in some cases when it’s done by ill-intentioned people, it can be really harmful.
6 tips on how to avoid gossip
Such unconstrained and often derogatory conversation proves the lack of maturity of people who use gossip as an option to harm others around them. People who use gossip as their weapon do not take into consideration the fact that this act itself reflects their own personality. They only function by the impulse of harming other people because of various reasons. Here are six tips that you might want find helpful if you want to avoid gossip.
- No matter how much we would want to deny, all of us gossip sometimes. There are even newspapers and magazines especially created on the base of rumors and spreading sensitive information about people’s lives.
This so-called ‘social weapon’ seems to poison the core of our society, but intentionally or not, we do not make any effort to get rid of it. It’s proven that people with high levels of anxiety are resorting to gossiping to maintain their own self-esteem. Once you recognize this as a time-wasting and damaging activity, you can start sorting out bad gossip from hurtful gossip.
- Most of the time gossip is a facade for envy or getting revenge. That is why magazines that have the purpose of shaming stars are sold. People like to bring down others so that they feel good about themselves.
When it becomes a part of your daily life, you need to be concerned with the real reasons behind it. You need to ask yourself what you are gaining from this action or why you actually feel the need to either listen to gossip or destroy someone’s reputation. What psychological problems may this kind of behavior reveal and where is it leading?
- Solve your own anger management issues. The desire to hurt people or to get revenge comes from anger. Deriving a sense of retribution from gossiping clearly shows that there is an action that must be taken to improve behavior.
Soon, simple gossiping will not be enough as it cannot solve the problems between two people. Discuss the issue with the person who is causing your anger in order to achieve peace or if that is not possible, simply abandon the topic because it will drain you of energy and happiness. Remove that person completely from your life if that is necessary; just do your best efforts to stop engaging in this self-destructive activity.
- If stopping gossip seems to be impossible then start by allowing it to happen just for a certain amount of time over a limited time span, until you are able to totally remove it. Make sure you continue doing it only with a close friend or relative and that it stays between the two of you. Make gossiping private and do not spread it further. Little by little, you will be able to stop being interested in other people’s lives and you won’t have the need to share useless information any longer. Make sure your friend helps you in this process and does not simply feed your bad habits.
- Focus on constructive things. Change the subject of your conversations to more positive ones. Get involved in new activities that will keep you busy and motivate you to discuss productive matters. Do not judge others for gossiping or blame them for your own actions. Lead the conversation toward important or relaxing things or simply express your lack of interest in the remarks.
You could spend all that time debating deep subjects or learning something instead of small, negative talks. Find people with the same hobbies as yours and start talking about what you have in common. Don’t pay attention to other people’s lives as long as your life is not affected in any way by them.
- Disengage yourself from gossiping. Even if such a reaction would irritate some people, showing your indifference towards malevolent behavior is the smartest choice. Remember that someone who is talking about others in your presence is very likely to do the same about you when you’re not around.
Make an effort to control your sensitivity in front of their opinions regarding yourself or other people. Sure it might sound tempting to start a bit of gossiping and laughing about some innocent lies with your friends while dipping your feet into a foot spa or while shopping but is it really the only way you can relax? Disengage from this type of subjects and you might start to make progress in your self-improvement process.